The Wolfman

by Matt Slick

So, there I was, bored and in the mood to see a movie.  I asked my wife, "Wanna go see The Wolfman?"  I asked only because I had to be polite.  Of course she doesn't want to see a movie where you know people are going to get terrified and shredded.  She prefers the more realistic musicals where unexpected melodies materialize out of thin air and people dance and sing to them in perfect unison -- as if that's normal.  Anyway, my wife made the right choice, stayed home, and vegged in front of the TV.  I, on the other hand, ventured out into the night air and shelled out some big movie bucks.

Unfortunately, I was struck by the incongruity of such excellent actors as Anthony Hopkins and Hugo Weaving in this film that "just didn't come together."  Why were such greats lending their talents to a second rate flick?  The movie seemed shallow with a not-quite-right editing technique.  The few cool special effects couldn't save this film from the mediocrity that had me saying "yeah right" (a scale of movie criticism I learned from my kids) once too many times.  The guts on the dirt were interesting.  Gwen was the babette and...well, that is about it.  Oh yeah, did I mention that the main characters, living in England, didn't have a Brittish accent? 

Benicio Del Toro, who always looks like he hasn't slept enough, has done better.  As the man searching for whatever killed his brother at the film's opening, he sets the pace for the movie -- that really doesn't quite get off of all fours.  But he does manage to eventually get mangled and viola!, next full moon he needs a major shave.  Sure, he anguishes over doing nasty werewolf stuff to innocent bystanders, but that is as deep as his character goes.  His father, Anthony Hopkins who is always good, plays a slow speaking man that seems solemnly caloused to the whole werewolf thing.  I thought his presence was out of place in the film.  Hugo Weaving delivered the best performance of anyone as the detective.  Well, actually there were a few running-away-really-fast-from-the-werewolf extras who were pretty convincingly scared enough to wet their collective pants (just kidding, the wet pants thing didn't really happen).  I don't really remember any foul language, and the only sexual anything worth mentioning was the bare backside of Gwen.

I don't have to give you plot details.  I mean, heck its about werewolves, some running, some screaming, the full moon, more running, more screaming, and a predictable ending all set in a dreary, cold countryside that seemed suspiciously void of real color.

So, if you're bored and your wife (or hubby) doesn't want to go waste some big bucks with you, then you might want to go see it.  But if you do, don't expect very much, and just maybe you might enjoy it if you're into that kinda stuff.  But then again, you could also save those big bucks, go rent the original, and watch how campiness is really done.