I have had many different unexplained experiences and was really starting to believe that maybe God had given me a gift and that maybe I could use this special gift to help people to contact their dead relatives and maybe even help the dead to be reassured and at rest.
I remember seeing that there was a psychic fayre at our local theatre and decided to go along, the building was not particularly crowded the time we arrived. There was one man who was drawing pictures of people's spirit guides, apparently he was able to see your guide and sold the picture he saw and told you who your guide was.
There was a woman sitting next to him who was a medium, I approached her table feeling very apprehensive and nervously asked her how do you know if you are psychic or have medium gifts?
As she was not at all busy she asked me to sit down, and then said to me “concentrate on me and tells me if anything enters your head.” Immediately a name came to mind and repeated over and over again, it was not my own thoughts it was more like a person whispering in my inner ear, and I would say, if anything, it was a male voice. It repeated the same name over and over again relentlessly Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted it bombarded my own thoughts. Then the woman said to me “have you got anything?” I said I have a name and blurted out TED!
At this the woman sat back in her chair and took a deep breath, she said I need to get a cigarette and began to shake. I wondered why her reaction was so dramatic? She lit her cigarette and then proceeded with her story. She started by saying to me that no one had ever picked the name before and felt comforted and reassured by the fact that I had picked this up. She then proceeded to tell me that she had been pregnant and the baby had died whilst she was pregnant. At this time the room she was preparing for the baby was full of teddy bears so they had decided to name the baby Edward or Ted. She went on to say that she felt his presence with her often and although other mediums had picked up her son she had never been given his name before which she found very comforting. She gave me a ring to hold and I told her some other things which, although accurate I could have had a lucky guess. I cannot remember her name but at the time she gave me a card and invited me to join her circle and to develop, what she said, was a very strong gift. She actually compared me to the medium Doris Stokes and said that I really should learn how to develop this gift.
We looked around at other displays and there was a section where different psychics were doing demonstrations and answering questions etc.
Later in the day the woman I had seem previously was doing her demonstration and was talking about me and saying that I had confirmed her beliefs even more.
I have thought about this experience often and wonder how unsure of her own beliefs she really was. She spent much of her time talking to people and trying to convince them that their loved ones are happy in the afterlife and charging for her gift and yet she needed and grasped the one word I gave her with such hope.
The thing was, at the time, I believed that the gifts must have been from God. How could I really know things that happened in other people’s lives? There must be some divine help. I believed that it was a way God could reassure people that their loved ones were in heaven. Waiting for them and offered them hope of an afterlife. The only problem with this was I was not a Christian and had never read the bible, the word of God, to see what he thought of the whole matter. It was much easier to rely on the voices and my instincts. If only I knew what I know now, what Gods word said on the whole matter, I would not have got so involved in these practices.
My experiences started as a teenager. I remember going to my boyfriends (now my husband) mothers guesthouse, and we started to mess with a ouji board there.
Different spirits would always come and mimic dead relatives and have all sorts of information, which they really should not have known unless they were the people they claimed to be. Paul, my husband, had an older brother who was unfortunately still born. When we ‘contacted’ him he would play tricks and say things like “have you lost your keys? Ha ha, I have hidden them”. There was a guest, Richard, who was staying at the guesthouse over the winter period. His brother came through, Richard was not even playing but watching the telly, and he gave us his name and said he had a message for Richard. We did not even know he had a brother let alone get the correct name. I also remember that I was thinking something and the question I was thinking about started to be answered. I wondered if I was unconsciously pushing the glass so I removed my hands and it continued with my question and answer so it definitely was not me.
Then something really frightening happened. The spirit that claimed to be Paul’s brother announced it was going to enter my body, I then felt this strange feeling, the only way I can describe it was possession. It was as if something was trying to enter my body I can still remember how strong the feeling was now. And this energy was trying to make me talk. I resisted, it was almost like I was battling to keep my body, it was like I was going to vomit out words that was not mine. I spent hours trying to resist this evil spirit that tried to inhabit my body, eventually it just gave up as quick as it had tried to enter. It left me feeling drained and very frightened to say the least. I never again messed with a ouji board. But still not knowing Gods word on the matter took the spirits to be who they claimed to be, dead relatives.
When I was 16 a couple of my very close relatives died. My grandmother, whom I was very close to, died in November. On the day of her funeral my father commented on how he did not like the black dress I was wearing and wanted me to wear something different. Being 16 and liking the dress myself I decided to disregard my father’s wishes and wear the dress anyway. Two weeks one day later my father took his own life, as he was very distressed after my grandmother’s death. I was absolutely devastated. 3 weeks previous there was 4 people living in the household, myself my grandmother and grandfather and my dad and now just 2 of us remained. I started to hear voices when I went to bed. It sounded like my grandmother and my father arguing, which was a regular occurrence. Then it came to the day of my father’s funeral and the dress that I really liked and he hated was gone from my wardrobe. It seemed rather strange at the time and I have never found it since. Other objects of mine started being moved and going missing after my father’s death, I believed it was he and would ask for them to be returned and sometimes they were. I believed it was his way of showing me he was still around.
As time went by I got married and began my family but I was still always interested in psychics. I used to get books from the library and one particular book I got out was on past lives. I was really into reincarnation at that time. I remember in the book it gave tips on how to remember your past lives and one of the things I had to do was to sit into a dark room with just a candle light and stare at my reflection for a long time and my face should start to change. Which did happen, I don’t know if it was because my eyes was unfocused after staring so long in a dull light or if it was that I was getting so involved in these sort of practices that I had opened a door to another realm? But my face seemed to change shape. This freaked me out so I stopped that experiment and went onto another in a different chapter.
Another experiment was a visualisation I cant remember all the details but you go into some sort of trance as described in the book and go back in time to past lives, first I remember being an eagle. I was flying in the sky, it was a strange sensation and I could see the world from a bird's eye view. I swept down to an area where I lived on a kind of range. Then I was an Indian and all my neighbours were the same as they are now but also Indians that seemed to fit in well with the reincarnation and cycles bit. It made me think that we are just being recycled along with friends and family over and over again. Another time I saw that I was on cobblestones in London I was a prostitute and I witnessed myself being attacked and murdered. This was a short but horrifying vision I wondered if there was any evidence to support the vision? It was so real it was under an arch, the street was poorly lit and the cobblestones were wet. The whole environment in this vision was eiree but very realistic. After trying this new avenue and delving into what I believed was my past lives things started to really happen. I then started to have premonition dreams. I knew they were premonitions as they made so much sense; it was just like viewing something happening to another person. Every detail was accurate and never disjointed it just made such sense; in a way some were quite boring.
One time a I dreamt a couple of my friends, who at the time were in a dispute and both pregnant, were put in beds next to each other, this then happened within a couple of weeks. I dreamt another friend was told she had to go into hospital early and have a caesarean and that she had a baby girl with lots of dark hair.
I telephoned her to tell her of my dream and she said well its funny you should say that but I have been told I have to go in early, this Friday for a caesarean, she then gave birth to her first daughter after 2 boys and her baby had lots of hair.
Then I dreamt a horrible dream I woke up and knew it was a premonition dream and did not know what to do about it. I had dreamt I witnessed a helicopter crash. At the time I was in a field at a fayre type thing and a helicopter came down in front of a white house 2 men were inside and died. I did not know what to do I told a few people about my dream but had no details I was just was waiting for it to happen. 3 days later I saw it on the news 2 men died. The helicopter had lost control and came down in front of this same detached white house. The house was exactly what I had seen and what’s more many people I had told were also amazed by my prediction.
The deeper I delved the stronger it got. I started to have visitors in the night; one time I was awoken by a presence by my bedside it was a child, who I believed to be my own child. Have you ever woken up because someone was standing over you and you felt him or her there? Well that was what it was like, I looked to the opened door and saw 2 figures standing in the doorway, and my heart was beating frantically as I thought we had intruders who had fetched one of my own children to wake me. I screamed, woke my husband and said there are people at the door. He leapt out of bed turned on the light and the figures disappeared.
I later went to see a medium that told me that the people were my grandmother and grandfather and the child was me as a younger spirit or my father as a child she was not quite sure. She described a photo that I have at home of a couple. What they were wearing in the photo and it was accurate. My grandfather in an army uniform. How did she know? There is defiantly something in this stuff.
I started to be bombarded with images whenever I closed my eyes. One night as I closed my eyes I was surrounded by water, it was cold and dark and a couple of people were in the sea, their boat had capsized and they were just bobbing up and down in the dark abyss.
The next day on the news a couple that survived were rescued from the sea after spending a harrowing night. They were fearful that they would lose their lives but were rescued and decided to get married to each other. Why could I see what they saw?
My bed started to vibrate some nights and I was not the only one who felt this, my husband also experienced this strange phenomena. Our house became so noisy, the floorboards would constantly creak like someone was walking around the house, and I used to say to myself the house is just settling but it does not happen now.
I would catch figures out of the corner of my eye all the time and the my eldest daughter saw a young girl sitting in our front room, she believe it to be her little sister until she left the room and the sister was with me. My family before me had been involved in this and it had been passed down to me and was going on into the next generation, my children. I have since found out this is biblical.
One evening I had a very strong clear experience, a friends dad who had recently died from a muscle wasting illness woke me up and would not let me get back to sleep until I had relayed a message that he wanted me to pass onto a loved one. He gave me so much clear information, which I could not possibly know, as I had not seen the lady for a few years. He informed me of the breed of dog she had just purchased and a clue to the dogs name (the initial) he told me it was named after him but did not have its name. Which was made clear when I asked my friend about it, she said it was named after the job he done. He told me to tell his family he was OK now and also he told me she had been having mediums round trying to contact him, he also gave me some personal information that also turned out to be true.
Another medium told me that I have gifts and may or may not choose to use these gifts. She was right their, I did look very deeply into different practices. In the end I discovered the truth behind them. Another thing I found I was able to do was talk to people on the Internet and be able to know what they were feeling and thinking. On one occasion I seemed to link with a man in American and could see inside his house. No cameras were used. It was a kind of window into his world. I described what I saw and it kind of freaked him out. I remember seeing a tiny bedroom with hardly any space next to the bed for him to be able to walk. I did not know why it was so tiny but then found out he lived in a trailer in a trailer park. So where is it coming from?
Since having so many experiences first hand I have had time to really think about them. The experiences should be unexplainable, I should not have known so many things about dead people, had dreams that come true, seen spirits, and had this contact with dead people. There is definitely something in this. They are either dead people contacting me, using me as a channel and a gift given from God or, if not, where were they from? So I thought if they are good and from God then really I must have some belief in God or a god, if they are not from him then where are they coming from?
I have now found the inner peace, the reassurance of another life; a life after death and that is from God. I looked into the bible and found out what God had to say himself on the matter, who were these spirits? They were demons messing with my mind, tricking, deceiving me into believing they were loved ones. Why were they doing that? Because if you don’t know and accept Jesus Christ into you life in this life, if you don’t discover him for yourself whilst your alive you are not with him in the next.
It is simple really as it says in the bible who ever believes in me shall have eternal life. These demons don’t want you to have eternal life by following Jesus, so they try to sidetrack and deceive you. Of course they know who you are, they know about you, you are inviting them into your world as I did, but if you want to know the truth, the life and the way go to the Creator himself. He will set you free and you will learn truths, God loves you and can forgive you from this time spent in divination, you only have to ask. Knock and the door will be open, ask and you will receive. I have tried so many different things as you can see but none of them have given me the hope and reassurance I have now in Jesus Christ.
We do not know what can happen as a result of our involvement with the occult and different things happen to different people but I have found that because of my connection with the dark side the spirit of infirmity was the consequences. For many years now I have suffered particularly poor health in the form of a disease called fibromyalgia.
When the evil spirit entered my body all those years ago it brought it decided to hide and take up residency in my body in the form of ill health. Though the things I choose to do I brought this illness upon myself and have paid the price for my mistake now for 22 years.
When the evil spirit which unbeknown to me had been hiding behind a closed door bringing sickness to my whole body it left me even more dramatically than it has entered me at the young age of 16, I believed that on that day so many years ago I resisted the spirit and got on with my life but it actually took a foothold in my very inner being and has dwelt their unnoticed by anyone just eating away at my health, my thoughts and my self-esteem.
As this evil entity left my body my face went into spasm, my body trembled, I cried, I felt physically sick. My teeth chatted, and I actually felt it come up from my feet and legs, through my stomach and chest until eventually I coughed and coughed until it left my body. The same feeling bombarded my memory, that same familiar spirit came flooding back to my memory, that day when I felt it so desperately try to enter me came flooding back to my conscious, and the feeling of fear also came back, the feeling that I have now been set free from once again shown its self.
I have told you about my experience of which I feel very ashamed as I know that all the things I done deeply hurt my Saviour. If you are searching, you want to know the truth be very careful as deceiving spirits can come as an angel of light and deceive you, they may take you on a path that can eventually lead to your destruction. I urge and pray that you will look to God for your answer and this is the only path that can bring you inner peace and true happiness and the knowledge of living for eternity.
There are also many religions, which although they have part of the truth, also have many false teaching which. But in my experience if Jesus is the centre, he is Lord and he is worshipped this is all you need. He has paid the ultimate price for us with his death when he says the way to the father is through the son, it is the son you need to get to know, the character of Jesus.
Knock and the door will be opened, asked and you will receive, if you ask Jesus into your life and ask for your sins to be forgiven he will come, he always comes if you really want him. If your now aware of your sins and believe like myself you are a good person, help everyone and are very caring you could ask him to show you what has offended him.
With myself I now realised that I broke the commandment put no other Gods before me when I was searching for enlightenment in new age and now feel grieved by what I have done.
I am now going to share with you a prayer similar to the one I used the day Jesus came into my life and if you choose to pray something similar yourself then you will have no need to continue to look because you would have found what you was looking for.
Dear Lord, I have been searching for something to fill this void in my life, to take away the pain I have been feeling, I never seem to find the peace and reassurance I have been looking for. But now lord I come to you and ask you if come into my life and my heart, you say in your word ask and you will receive so now I stand before you and ask you to be the lord of my life. I ask you to forgive me all the things I have done wrong which have been unpleasing to you as I truly have not meant to offend you so Lord I cry out to you and ask for forgiveness. I now turn from everything I know which is wrong. Thank you that you died on the cross for me So that I could be forgiven and set free. Thank you for your forgiveness and for the gift of your Holy Spirit please come into my life by your Holy Spirit to be with me forever Thank you Lord Jesus. Amen.
If you decided to make this commitment to God then congratulations you and now part of the body of Christ, You really now need get a bible so you can read what God has to say on everything. It would also be a good idea to find a pastor or minister in your area so you can talk through your experiences with him and grow in your understanding of what Jesus has done for you.
Please see below a few scripture reference to see for yourself how much I offended God by my involvement with divination and the Occult
Zechariah 10:2 - "The idols speak deceit, diviners see visions that lie; they tell dreams that are false, they give comfort in vain. Therefore the people wander like sheep oppressed for lack of a shepherd."
Leviticus 19:30-32 - "Observe my Sabbaths and have reverence for my sanctuary. I am the Lord. Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God. Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord."
Jeremiah 29:8 - "Yes, this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: 'Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have.'"
Exodus 7:11 - "Pharaoh then summoned wise men and sorcerers, and the Egyptian magicians also did the same things by their secret arts."
Deuteronomy 18:10-12 - "Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord, and because of these detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you."
John 3:15-17 - "That everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."
John 3:35-36 - "The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him."
John 14:5-6 - "Thomas said to him, 'Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?' Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.'"
Luke 11:8-10 - "I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
Please feel free to e-mail me [email protected]