My name is Adam Lambert. I want to tell you a story about my life in hopes it will draw you to know the peace I have found in Jesus.
I was raised in a household where alcohol was always present. I did not have a "NORMAL" childhood. I spent most of my childhood hiding from my feelings through drugs, alcohol, sex, and violence. And yes, you can hide in fights and such as it is a way to vent some of your pain.
I started smoking cigarette's when I was 7 years old. I took my first drink of beer when I was 8. I got into pornography at the age of 8-9. I do not remember for sure. I started smoking pot at the age of 11 and was a pill freak at the age of 12. For those of you who do not know what a pill freak is, it is a person that will take any pill you lay in front of him and then ask you what they just took. I also got very drunk for the first time at the age of 12.
I was very active in sports such as baseball and football. Football was my favorite as I could vent my frustrations on the field and not get into trouble for it. I got really good at this because it was the one thing I did that my dad took notice. I wanted really bad for him to love me and show me his attention. I could get it through football and baseball.
My first memory as a child is of a tree falling on the house. It was blown down by Hurricane Camille. This is kind of prophetic of the way my life was to go for many years to come.
The first thing I remember of my parents as a child is of my Dad throwing my Mom across the room into a bookshelf he had built. This went on quite often until I was 12. My mom would scream for my older brother to help her, but as he was only 2 years older than me, he could do nothing. When I was 8 years old, I had enough of the abuse and tried to stop my Dad from beating my Mom. I ran up to him and started to hit him. He picked me up by the hair of my head and threw me on the couch. I remember sitting on the couch in the living room in tears because I knew my Mom was hurting, and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Dad spent a lot of time telling me and my brothers that we were worthless and would amount to nothing. I took it as the truth and had a very low self-esteem of myself because of it.
My mom and dad divorced when I was 12 also. I was glad of this as I thought the HELL was ending.
I had an ugly duckling life. I spent the first 9 years of school being picked on by all the other kids because I was different from them. They called me all sorts of names. I went through this time virtually alone as I had no one to run to except one uncle who--when home--would protect us and show us the love we longed for. His name was Bill. The summer between my 9th and 10th grade years, I had a lady reduce my hairstyle and a lot of the kids started doing the drugs and alcohol scene like I was. This changed their opinion of me or seemed to. I was now, sort of, popular with the ladies but because of all the things in my past, I did not trust anyone. I was not capable of having a real relationship with anyone because of the way I was abused by the kids and my Dad.
By the time I was 15, I was smoking about an ounce of pot each week. I would take a fifth of Jack Daniels in one hand and a goose neck Budweiser in the other and start drinking. When the beer was gone, so was the whiskey. I do not remember most of my sophomore year of high school because I was always high or drunk.
I started dating a girl when I was 16. When I turned 17, she was pregnant. We got married halfway through my senior year of high school. We divorced 4 years later.
I joined the Army to see the world and to be like my older brother. I requested to be sent to West Germany. In the Army, I had to quit the drugs due to the drug tests we had to go through. I could still drink though, and I did A LOT of it. By the time I left West Germany 3 and 1/2 years later, I could drink a half-gallon of liquor and still get up and walk. I drove home in that shape many times.
I have been married a total of 5 times, and I have 6 children from these marriages. I was very abusive in three of these relationships as all I knew how to do was to use people to get what I wanted. I abused these women verbally all the time. The second and third I abused physically, and the third I abused sexually.
I have--to date--done every drug known to man except anything that goes in a needle. I was strung out on crack for 2 years while married to my third wife. One Saturday I found us with no money and no food for our 10-month-old child. There was a church that met in the clubhouse off the apartment complex where I lived. I went down there at 12 noon to see about getting some money from them. They had not gotten out of Church yet. I went back at 1 o'clock, and they were still in there having church. I went back at 2 o'clock, and they were still in there. I was starting to get a little frustrated. There was a group of people coming out of the church, and I asked them where the pastor was. I was told the pastor was in the church. The lady then asked me what I wanted, and I told her the situation. She handed me $5.00 and invited me inside. I was dressed in a pair of shorts that was entirely to short and a muscle shirt that had sexually explicit pictures all over it. I told her I would not enter a church the way I was dressed. She told me they did not care how I looked and to come in anyway. This got my attention as I was under the belief that you did not go to church without your Sunday best on. I went in and sat there through 4 hours of preaching with my now ex-wife and son. At the end of it, another lady got up and asked us to come to the front of the church as she wanted to pray for us. She prayed over us in tongues, and then they took up a collection for us. They gave us $30 to get some food with. When we got back to the apartment, my ex-wife started cussing, and it offended me. Now I stopped and had to take a look at this as I had one of the foulest mouths there were. I asked her to not say that because it offended me. It was at this time I realized there had been a change in me.
While the lady prayed over us, I was delivered from all the drug addiction and alcoholism. I was delivered from the extreme temper that I had. And most of all I was delivered from the pain in my heart. I realized that for the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to be loved and to love someone. I had fallen in love with Jesus. I got on my knees and started praying for the Lord to teach me about Him as my ex-wife left the next day and moved away. I had no one there to teach me or anything.
The Lord held up His promise in His Word that He would send the Holy Spirit to be my teacher. I was taught through several preachers on TBN and through a lot of time studying the Word of God, which is the Holy Bible, and through a lot of prayer. There were men and women of God sent to me at different times to help me, but the Lord never allowed any of them to stay around me for extended periods of time as He wanted to teach me Himself and for me to be dependant on Him. This was ok with me as I did not trust people.
I have been walking with the Lord now for 7 years. I am a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I love Jesus with all there is in me to love.