Light Bulb Jokes

  1. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? To change it or not to change it, that is the question.
  2. How many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to abduct the light bulb and another to probe it.
  3. How many Arminians does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb changes itself.
  4. How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? Irrelevant. Atheists like the darkness.
  5. How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb? We can't know for sure.
  6. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It was predestined to be burned out.
  7. How many car salesmen does as it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but first he sells you the light bulb, the socket, the electricity, and then you sign a contract for light bulb maintenance.
  8. How many Christian apologists does it take to change a light bulb? First we need to undermine the light bulb's faulty presuppositions. Second, we need to discuss how the properties of light and electricity produce light. Third...
  9. How many Christian Scientists does it take to change a light bulb? Wrong question because you are perceiving the broken light bulb incorrectly.
  10. How man communists does it take to change a light bulb? It isn't your light bulb. The state owns it and you. How dare you think independently. We have ways of making you talk.
  11. How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? None, a free market will take care of it shortly.
  12. How many deists does it take to change a light bulb? The light bulb's existence has been left to itself, unaided, so who knows?
  13. How many movie directors does it take to change a light bulb? One to say, "Ready..... Action!  Change!"
  14. How many druids does it take to change a light bulb? 501. 1 to change the bulb, 500 to move the stone circle.
  15. How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Irrelevant, because they will just wait for the light bulb to evolve into a laser.
  16. How many existentialists does does it take to change a light bulb? My experience tells me it is only cracked.
  17. How many geologists does it take to change a light bulb? We have to move a mountain to find out.
  18. How many Hindus does it take to change a light bulb? Irrelevant. It will come back as a sparrow.
  19. How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and another to read what the watchtower magazine tells them what to believe about it.
  20. How many mathematicians does it take a change a light bulb? The cube root of the bulb's volume divided by the cosine of 45º multiplied by pi and divided by 17 will give the answer.
  21. How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he has to have special garments to do it.
  22. How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb? They don't care because they blew it up in the first place and now they are coming after you.
  23. How many new agers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one to gently twist it until it is in tune with divine lightbulbness.
  24. How many Pelagians does it take a change a light bulb? None, the light bulb is not defective.
  25. How many policemen does it take a change a light bulb? Just one, after it is frisked.
  26. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Too many! First a committee must be gathered to examine if the light bulb has been discriminated against. Then they pass a new law about light bulb equality. Then they raise taxes. Then they exempt themselves from those taxes.  Then they take your light bulb and use it as their own and blame you for mistreating all light bulbs. If you're white, you're automatically a light bulb bigot because you mentioned that light is white.
  27. How many quantum physicists does it take a change a light bulb? The light bulb isn't broken unless you look at it. So don't look and it won't break.
  28. How many reincarnationists does it take to change a light bulb? Change? Wrong concept because in the cycle of life it will come back as a fig.
  29. How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They ask Mary to change it.
  30. How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb? It is a collective effort with many hands changing a bulb that isn't broken.
  31. How many surrealist painters does it take to change a light bulb? A fish.

 

 

 

 
 
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