The following list of statements is not meant to be offensive to the Open Theist.  They are meant to be both humorous and illustrative.  Open Theism teaches that God does not know future events, that He can be surprised by them, that He can make mistakes, and that He learns what will happen as people make choices.  Therefore, what kinds of things might we hear the God of Open Theism say?

1. Ooops
2. Doh!
3. Uh, oh.
4. Oh, no.
5. Dang it!
6. Shucks!
7. Let me get back to you on that.
8. Wow, that was a surprise.
9. I hope it works out.
10. Oh no, now what is he going to do this time?
11. No, I haven’t heard the joke about the open theist.
12. Please, oh please, please, please believe in me.
13. I’ll not do that again.
14. That didn’t turn out too well, did it?
15. I’ll try and get it right next time.
16. I’d answer your prayer, but I don’t know what is going to happen.
17. Hey, I just learned something.
18. Well, I can always go to plan B.
19. Well, I can always go to plan C.
20. Well, I can always go to plan D.

This is lighthearted, and I mean no mockery nor insult; but this is a way of illustrating the point that the view of God in open theism means God does not know all of the future and can even make mistakes — otherwise, according to openness, God wouldn’t have any regrets.

If we assumed that the god of open theism was true, would it bring you comfort to know that God learns, that God doesn’t know the future exhaustively, and that He has to wait to find out what people will do?  How would that affect your prayers to Him?  Would it give you confidence in God?  After all, what if something happens that surprises God and He is unable to answer your prayer?  If God is hoping for the best, reacting to people, and working around them to make things happen, then can you really count on God to be the sovereign in-charge Lord of the universe?  I think not.

This view is problematic and undermines the trust that we can have in God’s absolute sovereignty.  It is a reduction of the stature and abilities of God.

By the way, how many open theists does it take to change a light bulb?  No one knows until it happens.