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Moview Review: Noah

by | Mar 31, 2014 | Book and Movie Reviews

Paramount Pictures released Noah (2014) starring Russell Crowe, written by Darren Aronofsky.  The two hour and 19-minute movie was a failure from the beginning.  Though it borrowed from the biblical story of Noah, it significantly altered the story so much that the whole ordeal became a farce.  You would think that Hollywood might take its head out of its collective rear and consider the fact that Christians hold the Word of God dear to them.  I had hoped they would have treated this topic with its proper reverence, but all I can say is, “What was I thinking?”  Hollywood remained true to form and so butchered the account of Noah that the movie became laughable.  I strongly recommend Christians do not go see this movie.  Don’t provide financial support to the corruption of God’s Word.

It starts off with the fall to earth of some sort of angelic beings, called Watchers, who wanted to help Adam and Eve after they rebelled against “The Creator”; not God, but “The Creator.”  These Watchers were cursed to be encased in rock, and so they lumbered around noisily and ominously.  Later, we find these creatures helping Noah build the Ark.  Why does the Ark need to be built?  Because “The Creator” was going to destroy mankind.  But, why was “The Creator” going to destroy mankind?  Because the people were abusing nature.  Abusing nature?  That’s right.  People were eating meat and not taking care of the land.  I have to ask where they got this . . . from the Book of Deuterectomy?  Biblically speaking, God destroyed creation because of the wickedness of man (Matthew 24:37-39; Luke 17:26-27), not the abuse of nature and not because people ate meat.  But hey, why bother with man’s sinfulness against God when it comes to Hollywood’s moral standard.  Instead, the movie offers a more politically correct “sin,” which is the lack of proper vegan philosophy and land management.

In the Biblical account, God tells Noah to include the wives of his sons (Genesis 6:18), Shem, Ham, and Japheth when they enter the ark.  However, in the movie, the sons have no wives.  Well, let me correct that a little.  Early in the movie, they had rescued a girl who later fornicates with Shem (or perhaps I missed it that they were married in the movie) and she gets pregnant.  So, Shem is set but unfortunately for Ham, his attempt to get a pre-flood babe failed when Noah let her get trampled by the people trying to overtake the ark when the rain began to fall.  As far as Japheth goes, well, apparently he was just out of luck with no antediluvian hottie to hope for.

But, to my utter surprise (yes, it actually surprised me), after Noah and his family had exited the ark on dry land, there was a kind of storytelling compilation of visuals that represented what looked like the evolution of life from the earliest form up to primates.  I actually dropped my mouth open at the subtle propaganda.  Now, right when the primates were standing erect, the visual presentation switched to a glowing Adam and Eve who then partook of the forbidden fruit.  Facepalm!

Anyway, the movie had spectacular special effects and all the actors did a superb job.  Aside from the obvious non-biblical and politically correct propaganda, it was well done.  But, would I recommend it?  Definitely not.   Don’t give your financial support to Hollywood for such an atrocious presentation of an important biblical theme.

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