Biblically, the only kind of intimacy allowed between a man and a woman who are not married but are planning to be married is spiritual intimacy. Since they are not married, they cannot have sexual contact, nakedness before each other, the touching of the private areas, or illicit discussion of sexual things aimed at mutual stimulation. In other words, sexuality and physical intimacy are reserved for the marriage bed, period. I don’t see any problem with kissing and holding hands provided that they do not lead to a situation of temptation or lust.
- 1 Cor. 6:18, “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.”
- Eph. 5:3, “But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints.”
- Col. 3:5, “Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.”
- 1 Thess. 4:2-5, “For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.”
One of the goals and marriage is mutual protection and faithfulness. If physical intimacy is achieved outside of the marriage covenant, then neither party is protecting the other since sin would be involved. The man is to protect and guard his wife. The woman is to guard and protect her husband. If they will not do this before marriage, how can they be trusted to do this inside of marriage?
God has created marriage for the purpose of mutual fellowship, the bringing forth of children, carrying out the dominion mandate, sexual union, etc. Since marriage is a covenant before God, it should be held in high esteem. Therefore, to take from each other what belongs in the marriage covenant is to go against God’s will.
